It is unfortunate to me that all four-letter-words get such a bad rap, since there are two categories of them. There are the words that we tell our kids not to use, but often are guilty of including in our own adult speech. I definitely fall into this category. Powerful in their attention grabbing capabilities, but essentially meaningless in conversation.
Even though too many “F bombs”, or even the more benign word, shit, can get offensive, not all four-letter-words should be avoided. The second category should be used without hesitation. Words like, HAVE, WANT, and NEED, are important not only linguistically, but physically, and emotionally. Without using these verbs we are unable to convey our pains, desires, or necessities.
As infants, cries and grunts were our means of saying, “I HAVE a dirty diaper, I WANT to be held, I NEED to be fed.” Eventually, we all learned to talk and our vocabulary expanded. Still, many of us have yet to master the importance of when to utilize our word banks.
Shame and guilt often overshadow our confidence to communicate what we HAVE, WANT, or NEED. The fear of feeling vulnerable prevents us from clearly identifying to others how they could best support us. Being able to convey what we HAVE, WANT, or NEED is our most powerful means of taking care of ourselves. We short ourselves by assuming that others know what our voids are, much less how to fill them.
In avoiding these three words we do exactly what we are trying to prevent. We complicate life. By using our vocabulary we are more often than not, rewarded with having our HAVES, WANTS and NEEDS acknowledged, and hopefully, met. Try it. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised to discover that others really are willing to give more of a “shit” when we ask them too.
#wantsandneeds #wants #communicationiskey #have #speakupforyourself
